Sunday, October 23, 2011

My Sweet Alexis...


September 10, 2011 marks a very bad horrible day...

Alexis went missing... Disappeared off the face of the earth...

No cell phone activity...

Nothing...

Only to find her on day 40 buried in a shallow grave in Morgan County near the banks of the Weber River...

There are no words...

Only an empty sadness...




Seth has really handled this tragic time fairly well.. Very proud of him and how helpful he has been to his mom, by her side, supportive... oh yeah, I forgot ...He is a teenager... so we are not talking perfect,  but nearly you know.....

Our move the 15th of October is nearly over... It was a hard one... I think I say that every time I move... But with the news that Lex was missing... made it even harder.  No concentration ... No drive... No packing early... Just worry... and no sleep...

We need to clean up the backyard and get a few more things from the house... I'd like to get a cleaning crew together the first part of this week so I can get the carpets cleaned on Friday... Cuz Monday is our last day in that house and we still are not done...

So many sent flowers and plants to express their sadness too... So hard to understand this anyway, but harder due to it being our baby girl..



So many people came to the gravesite, far to many to even know who was there.  The media was outside the church in North Ogden, and on the pathway at the cemetery.  


Dylan Moore, Kirk's youngest came from AZ.  Glad that Jessica brought him.  A funeral is hard, but not knowing family is supportive makes it harder still.  Healing and understanding can start to happen as he processes  this tragic loss in his young life.  He lost his only sister...

This seems so senseless to me... This kind of death is so wasteful... It makes me sick when I think about it and her lying in a pile of dirt, tossed out like the trash...

Gotta stop for now... My heart is breaking... My body is shaking... Gonna go hide in my bed...

I'm pretty sure I'm suppose to be something else, so much crisis and stress and I'm still standing... What is wrong with me?  Why am I not flat and nonfunctional?  OK... Maybe why isn't the question... but then I'm so blank I can't think of what the question might be...  I'm still so very sad... a sadness I've never experienced before.

We had 2 dozen balloons to send up for the welcome home party she was having with family as we laid her earthly remains safely to rest.  Chris and Addison were there, now we added Lex too... See family... Together... Forever...


What do you think I'm suppose to learn in my life?

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Conference Weekend... Delightful

Starting this before conference starts... will add through out the weekend with bits of wisdom and treats from the General Authorities.. The temps are not to cool... mid high 80's...  Grateful for the cooler temps, and very grateful we are not in winter weather either...

As usual I did not get this done...

Seems like my life exploded on me again and I fell into snail mode... moving so slow...

moved
funeral
funeral
Thanksgiving...

So ya, things kept happening...