My Sweet Alexis...

September 10, 2011 marks a very bad horrible day...

Alexis went missing... Disappeared off the face of the earth...

No cell phone activity...

Nothing...

Only to find her on day 40 buried in a shallow grave in Morgan County near the banks of the Weber River...

There are no words...

Only an empty sadness...

Seth has really handled this tragic time fairly well.. Very proud of him and how helpful he has been to his mom, by her side, supportive... oh yeah, I forgot ...He is a teenager... so we are not talking perfect,  but nearly you know.....

Our move the 15th of October is nearly over... It was a hard one... I think I say that every time I move... But with the news that Lex was missing... made it even harder.  No concentration ... No drive... No packing early... Just worry... and no sleep...

We need to clean up the backyard and get a few more things from the house... I'd like to get a cleaning crew together the first part of this week so I can get the carpets cleaned on Friday... Cuz Monday is our last day in that house and we still are not done...

So many sent flowers and plants to express their sadness too... So hard to understand this anyway, but harder due to it being our baby girl..

So many people came to the gravesite, far to many to even know who was there.  The media was outside the church in North Ogden, and on the pathway at the cemetery.  

Dylan Moore, Kirk's youngest came from AZ.  Glad that Jessica brought him.  A funeral is hard, but not knowing family is supportive makes it harder still.  Healing and understanding can start to happen as he processes  this tragic loss in his young life.  He lost his only sister...

This seems so senseless to me... This kind of death is so wasteful... It makes me sick when I think about it and her lying in a pile of dirt, tossed out like the trash...

Gotta stop for now... My heart is breaking... My body is shaking... Gonna go hide in my bed...

I'm pretty sure I'm suppose to be something else, so much crisis and stress and I'm still standing... What is wrong with me?  Why am I not flat and nonfunctional?  OK... Maybe why isn't the question... but then I'm so blank I can't think of what the question might be...  I'm still so very sad... a sadness I've never experienced before.

We had 2 dozen balloons to send up for the welcome home party she was having with family as we laid her earthly remains safely to rest.  Chris and Addison were there, now we added Lex too... See family... Together... Forever...

What do you think I'm suppose to learn in my life?

Conference Weekend... Delightful

Starting this before conference starts... will add through out the weekend with bits of wisdom and treats from the General Authorities.. The temps are not to cool... mid high 80's...  Grateful for the cooler temps, and very grateful we are not in winter weather either...

As usual I did not get this done...

Seems like my life exploded on me again and I fell into snail mode... moving so slow...

moved
funeral
funeral
Thanksgiving...

So ya, things kept happening...

Connie is a Grump!!!

and if you don't believe her... Just ask Mike... Who is pleasant and sweet all the time...

OH YEAH!!

So this started on Thursday of this week... Mike has been sneezing

Lesson... Be or Do

We had a lesson today in Relief Society and it was really good.  Mike and I had a discussion before church and after church.  Mike taught the High Priest Quorum lesson and I went to the RS lesson....  Out of the May Conference Issue 2 talks were to be used as the lesson.

One was by Elder Lynn G Robbins, 

"What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?" 

pg 103.  

This talk had many concepts and issues.  I will quote many parts of this talk, he said it so well, why try to re do what was done well...

"To be and to do are inseparable.  As interdependent doctrines they reinforce and promote each other.  Faith inspires one to pray, for example, and prayer in turn strengthens one's faith."


"The do without the be -HYPOCRISY- portrays a false image to others, while be without do portrays a false image to oneself."


We see this in others, because it's easier to see the speck of dirt in another eye than to see the huge tree sticking out of our own eye.  Or another example Elder Robbins used was the scribes and Pharisees for their hypocrisy: "Woe unto you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites for ye pay tithe - something they did - of mint and anise and cumin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgement, mercy, and faith" (Matthew 23:23).  Or in other words, they failed to be what they should have been."


He used a few other examples to teach us:

• Entering the waters of baptism is something we do.  The be that must precede it is faith in Jesus Christ and a mighty change of heart.
•  Partaking of the sacrament is something we do.  Being worthy to partake of the sacrament is a weightier and much more important matter.
•  Ordination to the priesthood is an act, or do.  The weightier matter, however is power in the priesthood, which is based 'upon the principles of righteousness' (D&C 121:36) or be.

 Elder Robbins continues with: "Most of us create to do lists to remind us of things we want to accomplish.  But people rarely have to be lists.  Why?  To do's are activities or events that can be checked off the list when done.  To be, however, is never done.  He used an example of taking his wife out to dinner, which is the to do... But being a good husband is not an event, it needs to be part of my nature - my character, or who I am."


I can see these events in my life... and I have never been filled... or satisfied.  Because the void wasn't a void to be filled with an event,  it was a void that I needed to develop in my nature, or the who I am part of the do/be.  


Wish I had that tip of wisdom in my life/marriage like 30 yrs ago... HaHa... Things would have less complicated... but I am stubborn and slow to learn and be taught.


I will amend this as I finish putting my thoughts together... So Later...

Changes in our Nest...

It's official.  We have new roommates for the next 8 months while Esmeralda finishes up her MA at Provo College, she should be done by Feb. 2012.  John won't be finished til late summer of 2012.

Al has moved out of state.  He is doing well.  Loves where he is at.  Close to fishing and mountains.  The winters will be cold.  But he will love it.  He has a great roommate who is a good game player.  So, I won't worry about him... Yeah!!  He is pretty healthy right now as long as he stays on his meds. 

The new renters are John and his new wife, Es and her 2 little girls.  Kiana is 4 yrs and Kabrie is 7 months.  Kiana is pronounced Key On a  like Anna with an O sound.  Kabrie is pronounced Kay Brie, brie like the cheese.  They has made this house noisy again, but that is fine. 

Mike and I are going to help them with daycare cuz they go to school at night.  The little ones are in bed and asleep usually when they get home and they are able to do homework.  They are both looking for jobs, so if you know of any part time in this end of the valley... email them OK.

 We love our Ward, Spanish Fields 1st Ward.  Neither of us know the name of our stake.  Which is kinda funny cuz the stake pres lives in our ward.  Guess that is our new goal... learn the name of our stake.

We've had a ton of rain this summer.  It's been an odd year... starting in Dec with the blizzard.  Hopefully this year will be normal for us.  The construction on the freeways have made winter road travel deadly.